I Believe in Angels

I Believe in Angels…..

I am writing this blog in hopes of helping others who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe, in some tiny way, this story will help your broken heart heal…. or at least smile for a moment.

Last month, for no reason and in a flash, I felt extremely nauseous and threw up. It was like a wave came crashing through me. I then laid down to take a nap and woke up crying, but I didn’t know why. I had checked my phone and saw that there was a message from Anthony, a very close and old friend, saying “Can I call you? I need to talk with you.” I knew something was up. I was getting ready to go to the airport to catch a flight and told him I would call him as soon as I landed in Dubai. As I sent him the message another notification came up saying I was tagged in a photo. I opened the image and it was an old photo of myself, Anthony and Damion from 1996. I remembered laughing at the photo because in it Damion had just dyed his hair and it didn’t go so well. He had bleached his hair blonde and we called him tweetie-bird. As I scrolled down, the caption said “RIP Damion”.

My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped breathing. My eyes wouldn’t stop tearing. The mental images and thoughts started racing of how…why…. what happened? He was only 34 years YOUNG! I had to turn off my phone and get on the flight. Luckily the flight was only 1 hour or else I would’ve exploded.

Upon landing I quickly called Anthony in New York to learn that it was true, Damion has passed away. I told him how I felt this huge wave pass through me earlier and woke up almost knowing something was wrong. He then told me about a series of “coincidences” that had been happening to him as if they were messages from Damion. He also told me that Damion’s funeral would be in New York a few weeks later.

Over the next week I was deeply saddened because I didn’t know if I could fly off to New York during that very busy time. I had flirted with the idea of somehow making it work but then Hurricane Sandy was about to hit destroying any possibility of getting there. My husband, my family and many dear friends were all in New York preparing themselves for the hurricane to hit.

I was scared for my loved ones and grieving the death of a dear friend. I had met Damion when I was in undergraduate college, the memories of those days rose like a phoenix. I thought of people I hadn’t thought of in years, our tight knit group of artists that spent every waking moment together back in those days. Memories, laughs and tears shared. Most of those dear friends all on the East Coast, about to get hit by the Hurricane.

The day Hurricane Sandy was meant to hit, I stayed up all night across the globe glued to the television with my sister. We prayed that everyone would be okay. They started announcing power outages, showing footage of flooding and damage. They closed the subways and all public transit. Hours later I heard from my husband, he was safe. I heard from my parents, they were okay. I still hadn’t heard back from a number of loved ones and dear friends, my heart was heavy.

The following day I had to go teach at the university. I was overwhelmed with emotion and grief. I was deeply saddened that I missed Damion’s funeral and praying for the safety of my many dear friends and loved ones. At that very moment I looked up and said “I’m sorry I missed your funeral Damion. I hope you are safe. I hope your family will be okay.” As the tears started gushing I went to wipe my eyes and glanced at the wall next to me. On it was a name plate to an office that said “D. Dickerson”. Damion’s last name is Dickerson!

I immediately ran to my office and shut the door behind me. I stood in my office and knew it was Damion speaking to me. He was letting me know he was okay and that he felt my love. I then received a number of notifications on my phone letting me know I received messages from some friends and loved ones in New York.

It wasn’t odd, it was GOD! With all my heart I believe in angels and heaven now has another beautiful angel named Damion. He is, without a doubt, looking down on his loved ones watching over them. Though I will miss him greatly and am still in shock over his death, it is very comforting to know that he is okay.

I love you Damion. Thank you for being my friend and thank you for letting me know you are safe and at ease. I would say ‘rest in peace’ but you never liked to rest. May you dance, laugh and complain in peace. Thank you for reminding me that the most important things in life are the people you love and even though you can’t always be near them we can all make a bigger effort to let them know we are thinking of and love them.

With love,
Mina


dickerson

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Anthony, Damion and I

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4 thoughts on “I Believe in Angels

  1. Mina this is Damion’s sister… this story brought tears to my eyes. It brings comfort
    to me to know that that he is reaching out to all his beautiful friends. Thank you.

  2. I read this today and simply had to reply to this posting.

    I knew Damion for only a short time, having met him in late 2007. The news of his passing came as a shock to me as well. As I’d recently relocated out of New York, I got the news second hand (or maybe third?) from a mutual friend while I was in the middle of hauling boxes and unpacking. That “punch in the gut” feeling bent me over as my mind reeled and my heart sank.

    The friend who delivered the news to me was unable to say at the time whether plans had been made for a funeral or what type of arrangements might be in process. For me it didn’t matter since the expense of moving and the pressures of a busy schedule and a new job would prevent me from being in New York for some time. Grieving for my friend would have to be a solitary process for me, as we didn’t grow up together and I didn’t know his family, nor many of his friends from “before my time”, so was unsure who to reach out to or how to express condolences to those closer to him than myself.

    In the weeks since I learned that he was no longer just a phone call away I’ve Googled and web searched his first and last name for some type of blurb about services or a memorial fund. Anything that might serve as a way to reach out to his family and let them know that he touched my life and my heart and that I cared for him and shared in their grief. It wasn’t until today that I was able to find anything online making reference to the loss we’ve all experienced.

    Mina, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings about Damion, and in doing so providing comfort to those of us who’ve been out there searching for some way to express our love and appreciation for him.

    Tish, I’ve only heard of you through long late night stories and rap sessions with your brother, but if you should be back around this site I hope you’ll come across this reply and know that there are many of us who knew and cared deeply for Damion, but may not have known how to get in touch with your family to express this. The way I see it, the mere fact that I’ve so frequently searched for some kind of message or way to acknowledge the sense of loss I’ve been feeling is evidence enough that he’s been tapping me on the shoulder, whispering “Remember Me”.

    And I do. I miss you, my friend, and I love you.

  3. Dearest Damion, you will make the most beautiful angel in heaven , but there are no words to describe how much you will be missed and how much you are and will always be loved.

  4. My Dearest Damion,
    Though we only knew each other for a short time in this world it felt like a lifetime that we had shared. Your honesty was so pure and I miss it so much. I miss the many various conversations that we both spent hours having. I know you’re ok up there in heaven and I often feel your spirit surround me as you are looking down from heaven above.

    You’ll never be forgotten my friend and I shall always have a candle light for you so you may find the path you’re headed too. Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again.

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